Even my drunk posts sound melancholy?!?

Oh man. I clearly know how to convey depression even when I'm not depressed. All I was going for in that last post of vodka-and-wine-infused honesty is that I'm enamored with Israel and most likely over New York. Which could be a good thing. You know, like slowly understanding my psyche and getting to the root of my instability as I not so secretly crave a stable life? Totally. Like that.

So anyway, how's everyone doing? Can you believe we're well into August? Soon the chagim will be here and I kinda dread that time because my family isn't religious so my holiday options aren't many and aren't ideal.

I'm in the running for a part-time position...in Philly. Any thoughts? Quit while I'm ahead or split my time between Philly and New York? Looking for advice. Those who know me, please give your advice through more direct means of communication. Thanks and have a glorious week!

My heart isn't in New York

It doesn't skip a beat like it does in Israel. And I know that New York is one of the best cities in the world - if not the best - but it doesn't make me feel as alive, as abuzz, as I do in Israel. I know, "so just move already," but friends, I'm just not ready. Soon, I feel it, I will be. I can't live with a constant sense of melancholy. I am the Gemini that needs to feel alive. Tonight someone told me that a Rav once said that after you spend an extensive stay in Israel and you leave, a part of your soul is left in Israel. Well that makes sense to me. That explains the overwhelming sensation that I'm not meant to be here. I know I will figure it out eventually in my own time, but for now just please appreciate that America isn't for me just like it's not for you. Home doesn't call to me in this accent. No, home tastes like honey and even if it feels like pushing in lines and aggression, I'm willing to fight to show that it doesn't have to be that way. Instead I want to live my life with every atom abuzz, every movement alight. I want to be where the rest of my soul is.