It seems like it was only yesterday when we were together shopping, cooking, celebrating, laughing, loving - together. In the same place. Ringing in the New Year in the Holy Land. Perfect and bitter-sweet. But it was a year ago and these past few days have brought on more and more questions and options and solutions and problems. I make up proofs and equations like if I don't find a new job in 2 weeks then I will consider a move across the world to find opportunity and love and happiness. Or I will wait it out for him to come and find me and I will find a job I won't mind quitting and we will work out life after I have paid off my credit card bills.
I want to put my life in someone else's hands but I'm too scared because I know what my fate will be decided.
Even though the chagim have never been such a big deal for me, I'm going to make the most out of this time for introspection and ask Hashem for what is right for me. I hope I can muster up some genuine kavana for the occasion. I also hope my dreams are manifested in the next few years to come.
Shana tova u'metuka to everyone. This should be a healthy, happy and prosperous year for us all, and for those of us looking for love, I certainly hope you find it.
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