Just another Friday

It seems to be more apparent to me these past couple of days that I'm losing my mind - or at least my memory.

For the second time in two days I have managed to lock myself out of my apartment at times when all 3 of my roommates are not home and I'm left to fend for myself. Yup, I'm a dodo.

So this time I realized I had locked myself out while on the phone with a certain boy after running pre-shabbat errands. Not panicking I call the one in law school to have the option of talking to his vmail. Why worry the boy. Instead I call one of my most reliable and adult-like friends/roommate/brother/future bridesdude and venture towards the glitz and glamor of 5th avenue to meet him for the key. It's a crisp and beautiful day in New York and had I not been carrying around aluminum trays, toilet paper and dishwashing soap amongst NY elite, I may have been able to appreciate the scene like the rest of the beautiful people and feel like I, too, am a tourist in this city. Instead I felt like a douche as I'm sure you can understand. I mean, you really have to picture me with greasy hair, uncovered blemish, coat and flip flops carrying around household items. Pretty priceless.

My roommate now thinks I need to carry my keys on a belt at all times like a special person. Sweet. In addition to my keys I have also managed to misplace one of my favorite pairs of earrings, tweezers, and numerous other trinkets. I hope I'm better with friends and family and remember where I last left them.

I need to write more

And sleep more. Unemployment is starting to get the best of me. I've been down this road before and it only leads to a subdued insomnia, mild depression, and anti-social behavior. I need to write more. I need to make sense of change. I need to will something big to happen.

Ringing in the New Year

It seems like it was only yesterday when we were together shopping, cooking, celebrating, laughing, loving - together. In the same place. Ringing in the New Year in the Holy Land. Perfect and bitter-sweet. But it was a year ago and these past few days have brought on more and more questions and options and solutions and problems. I make up proofs and equations like if I don't find a new job in 2 weeks then I will consider a move across the world to find opportunity and love and happiness. Or I will wait it out for him to come and find me and I will find a job I won't mind quitting and we will work out life after I have paid off my credit card bills.

I want to put my life in someone else's hands but I'm too scared because I know what my fate will be decided.

Even though the chagim have never been such a big deal for me, I'm going to make the most out of this time for introspection and ask Hashem for what is right for me. I hope I can muster up some genuine kavana for the occasion. I also hope my dreams are manifested in the next few years to come.

Shana tova u'metuka to everyone. This should be a healthy, happy and prosperous year for us all, and for those of us looking for love, I certainly hope you find it.

Who doesn't love a ukulele?

So bless

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRX5kH6IrkY

I think I could really be happy here

This trip has been so far so good. I can't remember the last time I was this happy and just stopped thinking so much about everything. Despite the million questions of what are your intentions, I just don't care. It feels so.damn.good. Like I want to be here. And it doesn't take a vodka soda to make me feel that way.

I've been in a fog since Wednesday but it feels oh so good and I can't verbalize it really. And even though the food doesn't taste quite the same, it's the people who make this all worth while.

Whoa

I'm a muppet. Mobile blogging isn't so good for me. Okay, I'm over it.

As my castmate says, "Israel, it's a good time."

Pre-flight ruminations

Okay so it goes without saying how excited I am to know that in just
11 hours I'll be on Israeli soil, but in my 8 trips to Israel I have
never flown on another nation's airline. It's weird and I must say
that being grilled in hebrew about the last holiday you celebrated and
why your passport has so many stamps from Ben Gurion is rather
comforting. This time I don't have that familiar tongue to greet me.
And before boarding the plane proved to be a big balagan which was
surprising. All I have is the comfort of my tehillim and a few sparse
chasidim on the plane. There isn't even my own personal TV playing
"latoose elal." I'll get over it with a little help from my ipod and
the butterflies in my heart. See you in TA! xx