This is an experiment

I've toyed with the idea of creating a blog for sometime, but I always feel that there is a certain self-censorship that's involved. And if so, then what's the point? I could sooner write in my journal at my own convenience instead of waiting to sit in front of this box. But sometimes you just have to throw something out into the universe. Here we go...

This morning at work we were out of Nes (I appear to be out of miracles as well...) and so I resorted to botz (I seem to be in a muddy period of life anyway...) with milk. Something odd happened though. There was a layer of botz that just refused to settle to the bottom. This has never happened to me before, although I am no coffee maven. But for some reason, I was very effected by this random occurance, much like I am by odd dreams.

I suppose like the botz that refused to settle to the bottom, I am also unsettled and have been for quite some time. Calling two countries home can be a bit trying on the soul, as well as the body, and for the past 9 months or more I've just been confused. I'm trying to find a balance in everything. While never being taught from birth that Israel is home, it's what I believe. But at the same time, I am just as much New Yawk as I am Tel Aviv. What's a girl to do? Go back and forth every 6 months? Flip a coin? Use eeny meeny miny? Talk to my local Rabbi or Kabbalist? No. I know what will happen. I will remain confused for a while as I continue to move on with life. Which sometimes makes things more difficult because instead of taking a break from life to contemplate my next move, I just make it while contemplating. I decide to return to Israel just after I buy the plane ticket.

Well, as I said, this was an experiment. Not sure how it worked out. A lot more to say, but I'm afraid of someone looking over my shoulder so I suppose I'll call it a day - a Thursday :) Here's to a night of normalcy, not too much intoxication, and a lot of dancing.