It seems like it was only yesterday when we were together shopping, cooking, celebrating, laughing, loving - together. In the same place. Ringing in the New Year in the Holy Land. Perfect and bitter-sweet. But it was a year ago and these past few days have brought on more and more questions and options and solutions and problems. I make up proofs and equations like if I don't find a new job in 2 weeks then I will consider a move across the world to find opportunity and love and happiness. Or I will wait it out for him to come and find me and I will find a job I won't mind quitting and we will work out life after I have paid off my credit card bills.
I want to put my life in someone else's hands but I'm too scared because I know what my fate will be decided.
Even though the chagim have never been such a big deal for me, I'm going to make the most out of this time for introspection and ask Hashem for what is right for me. I hope I can muster up some genuine kavana for the occasion. I also hope my dreams are manifested in the next few years to come.
Shana tova u'metuka to everyone. This should be a healthy, happy and prosperous year for us all, and for those of us looking for love, I certainly hope you find it.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I think I could really be happy here
This trip has been so far so good. I can't remember the last time I was this happy and just stopped thinking so much about everything. Despite the million questions of what are your intentions, I just don't care. It feels so.damn.good. Like I want to be here. And it doesn't take a vodka soda to make me feel that way.
I've been in a fog since Wednesday but it feels oh so good and I can't verbalize it really. And even though the food doesn't taste quite the same, it's the people who make this all worth while.
I've been in a fog since Wednesday but it feels oh so good and I can't verbalize it really. And even though the food doesn't taste quite the same, it's the people who make this all worth while.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Whoa
I'm a muppet. Mobile blogging isn't so good for me. Okay, I'm over it.
As my castmate says, "Israel, it's a good time."
As my castmate says, "Israel, it's a good time."
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Pre-flight ruminations
Okay so it goes without saying how excited I am to know that in just
11 hours I'll be on Israeli soil, but in my 8 trips to Israel I have
never flown on another nation's airline. It's weird and I must say
that being grilled in hebrew about the last holiday you celebrated and
why your passport has so many stamps from Ben Gurion is rather
comforting. This time I don't have that familiar tongue to greet me.
And before boarding the plane proved to be a big balagan which was
surprising. All I have is the comfort of my tehillim and a few sparse
chasidim on the plane. There isn't even my own personal TV playing
"latoose elal." I'll get over it with a little help from my ipod and
the butterflies in my heart. See you in TA! xx
11 hours I'll be on Israeli soil, but in my 8 trips to Israel I have
never flown on another nation's airline. It's weird and I must say
that being grilled in hebrew about the last holiday you celebrated and
why your passport has so many stamps from Ben Gurion is rather
comforting. This time I don't have that familiar tongue to greet me.
And before boarding the plane proved to be a big balagan which was
surprising. All I have is the comfort of my tehillim and a few sparse
chasidim on the plane. There isn't even my own personal TV playing
"latoose elal." I'll get over it with a little help from my ipod and
the butterflies in my heart. See you in TA! xx
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