Friday, November 23, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Free write my life
Every road brings me back to him. Every hymn brings me back to her - New York - my first love. Israel was my mistress and New York City my lover. New York, the one who would tell me things like, "I got you" and "no matter how bad it feels, we'll get through this together." Israel became the one who would say, "you can always come back to me" and "come find home in my arms."
Last night I revisited my youth. After walking New York City streets on a gray night I found myself in a pizza shop, free writing for the sake of writing because something just had to get out. I continued going down memory lane as one recollection brought me to another and another until my legs carried me back to the Bowery Poetry Club for the Urbana to end all Urbanas. Like I told my friend, I would give up cheese for the rest of my life all for that one evening.
It was like my youth revisited. I felt alive. I felt 16 again visiting this place, these people, connecting voices I've heard to faces. Being wowed by the poets, seeing the legends of my mind, seeing the legends of real life.
When I saw the future of spoken word perform, I realized that was something I still wanted very badly, only I had let myself forget. I saw on stage a version of myself that was more alive than I had ever been. And it stung in a bitter-sweet sort of way. And it gave me inspiration and motivation to revisit this place, this part of myself I let slip away sometimes.
After my book was signed, I hugged Beau and promised I'd call him before he left New York. I stepped outside and into my own world. I decided to walk the 35 blocks to my bus because nights like these are too rare to be spent on a subway. I silently vowed to immerse myself in the spoken word scene again, for reasons like wanting to be a part of this community, and needing to be inspired by this raw talent.
As I passed Astor Place I smiled, watching some kids running while spinning the cube. I looked at all the buildings around me, crossed the street and continued on my way, as I started to fall in love with New York once again.
Last night I revisited my youth. After walking New York City streets on a gray night I found myself in a pizza shop, free writing for the sake of writing because something just had to get out. I continued going down memory lane as one recollection brought me to another and another until my legs carried me back to the Bowery Poetry Club for the Urbana to end all Urbanas. Like I told my friend, I would give up cheese for the rest of my life all for that one evening.
It was like my youth revisited. I felt alive. I felt 16 again visiting this place, these people, connecting voices I've heard to faces. Being wowed by the poets, seeing the legends of my mind, seeing the legends of real life.
When I saw the future of spoken word perform, I realized that was something I still wanted very badly, only I had let myself forget. I saw on stage a version of myself that was more alive than I had ever been. And it stung in a bitter-sweet sort of way. And it gave me inspiration and motivation to revisit this place, this part of myself I let slip away sometimes.
After my book was signed, I hugged Beau and promised I'd call him before he left New York. I stepped outside and into my own world. I decided to walk the 35 blocks to my bus because nights like these are too rare to be spent on a subway. I silently vowed to immerse myself in the spoken word scene again, for reasons like wanting to be a part of this community, and needing to be inspired by this raw talent.
As I passed Astor Place I smiled, watching some kids running while spinning the cube. I looked at all the buildings around me, crossed the street and continued on my way, as I started to fall in love with New York once again.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
"What do you think is a good way I can strengthen my connection to Hashem?"
I asked him on the way back to New York from Montreal. For hours on end, both on the way there and back, we all filled the car with words of Torah. We questioned the reasoning of brachot and the right way to do them. We listened to a shiur about the World to Come. We spoke about the tzadikim who live in another world that we may never know. And we came to the conclusion that while we have free will to make our own choices and steer the course to our destinies, ultimately it is Hashem's will that brings us to where we're supposed to be.
And so when I asked for his opinion and recommendation for one thing that I can do to bring myself closer, I wasn't expecting the answer he gave me. I thought he was going to recommend another blessing to make when I eat, or say my prayers in the morning every day. But instead he said, "Well, I was thinking about this before, and I don't mean to preach or judge, especially because I had one myself, but I think you should take out your tongue ring." Uh-huh. "Well if you think about it, it's a metal bar in your tongue, so there's a kashrut issue." Ah-ha. I hadn't thought about that before. To which I asked incredulously, "So I've been eating traif this whole time???" I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I still don't. Because you don't think that a tongue ring is like a metal utensil that can absorb which is why you need one set for dairy and one set for meat. So do I now need to have one tongue ring for sipping coffee and one for eating a burger? What if I use glass? All these questions seem ridiculous to me and probably do to you as well. But still, once someone points out something you didn't know before, it's hard to forget. So I'm left to step back and see what my options are. Maybe I should just take on some more tefilot. In the mean while, all suggestions are welcome.
And so when I asked for his opinion and recommendation for one thing that I can do to bring myself closer, I wasn't expecting the answer he gave me. I thought he was going to recommend another blessing to make when I eat, or say my prayers in the morning every day. But instead he said, "Well, I was thinking about this before, and I don't mean to preach or judge, especially because I had one myself, but I think you should take out your tongue ring." Uh-huh. "Well if you think about it, it's a metal bar in your tongue, so there's a kashrut issue." Ah-ha. I hadn't thought about that before. To which I asked incredulously, "So I've been eating traif this whole time???" I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I still don't. Because you don't think that a tongue ring is like a metal utensil that can absorb which is why you need one set for dairy and one set for meat. So do I now need to have one tongue ring for sipping coffee and one for eating a burger? What if I use glass? All these questions seem ridiculous to me and probably do to you as well. But still, once someone points out something you didn't know before, it's hard to forget. So I'm left to step back and see what my options are. Maybe I should just take on some more tefilot. In the mean while, all suggestions are welcome.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
It was an amazing night
I couldn't have asked for a better show with such energy, packed, maybe 150 people in the audience. And we did a fantastic job. We created this show from scratch and accomplished so much. I am honored to be in a show with such wonderful and talented people. Maybe in another life I could have been an actress.
Before the show started, during my 5th trip to the bathroom, my phone fell in the toilet. It was okay. Didn't seem to gross me out or anything. It kinda works now but I think it's a little shaken up.
Anyway, while waiting for the train to go home in the designated waiting area, a cop in Penn Station started asking people to see their tickets. Many had been sleeping and were now being woken up all so that they could buy a ticket for a train they had no plans to ride just so they could go back to sleep once again. I began to realize how lucky and fortunate I am, for having a ticket, for having the money for a ticket and for actually having a destination where this waiting room was only a short stop. I guess if you're able to read this then you're pretty fortunate too.
Before the show started, during my 5th trip to the bathroom, my phone fell in the toilet. It was okay. Didn't seem to gross me out or anything. It kinda works now but I think it's a little shaken up.
Anyway, while waiting for the train to go home in the designated waiting area, a cop in Penn Station started asking people to see their tickets. Many had been sleeping and were now being woken up all so that they could buy a ticket for a train they had no plans to ride just so they could go back to sleep once again. I began to realize how lucky and fortunate I am, for having a ticket, for having the money for a ticket and for actually having a destination where this waiting room was only a short stop. I guess if you're able to read this then you're pretty fortunate too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
