Thursday, December 31, 2009

Ringing in the new year ringing in the sheep
It's time to recount all our failures and hope we don't make the same mistake twice
It's time to recount our successes and hope we double them

Ring in the new year
Drop that ball
Ring that bell
And always make sure you have someone to kiss when the clock strikes 12
Phone calls to be made
In this day cell phone service fails at our hands writing text messages
Emails
Fingers dialing digits
Some looking for love
Some looking to give love

Times have changed

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Haiku for fun

Girl, don't think with your / vagina. Instead think with / your head. Get it right.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I go to check my friend's blog to see if she's written anything new. Before the page fully loads I see she hasn't. And before the photo of her last post unblurs itself I try to close the browser. But it's too late. The image of a rainy winter's day in Tel Aviv comes into focus and my heart tightens before I can manage to click a button.

How I try to avoid that image. Because it's too hard for me to face the fact that I might be in NY to stay so I try not to let these reminders of small failure get to me. That I only managed 4 seasons and every time I return it's for the same summer fantasy. That I never could summon the money like I did that first time. That I never could muster the courage to dig out suitcases, passports, clothes for every season, and a smile. That I still look for love even though it's in the wrong places.

See, that one photo evokes too many memories of walking city blocks, back tracking steps just so I could avoid crossing flooded streets. That photo brings me back to survival because I never experienced a winter like that, filled with heart ache from heart break from a relationship that always seemed to be fighting something. And lately I always seem to be fighting myself. One Gemini twin always seems to know what's best and like Rivka's belly my gut tries to pull me in two different directions. And again, stuck at a crossroads. Where will this poem take me. Where will my own destiny take me. And all too often I dream that someday I'll be back walking those flooded streets.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Last night, in an attempt to induce sleep I pretended my pillow was man
Arm wrapped around it, pillowcase became chest hair as I ran my fingers through it.

This did not help. Instead I thought about my fantasy pillow man. Pretended to lock my leg between his, lay my head on his pillow chest and imagine whose face I would put on his.

Would he gaze at me in my sleep, wake me with soft kisses as I push him away from my fantasy morning breath
Would he bring me coffee in bed, paraphrase newspaper articles, suggest brunch at a quaint warm
cafe I would always be able to eat at in fantasy land

For 15 minutes before I finally dozed off into a dreamless sleep, I contemplated how my fantasy pillow man would fare as a lover and what kind of life partner he would turn out to be