I want to write something so badly

Like how I don't know if I'm coming or going anymore. Like sometimes I want to love the one I'm with and sometimes I really do love the one I'm with. I don't know where I'm headed but all signs seem to point to home. And home is where the heart is. Or where I left my heart. No, I didn't leave it in San Francisco, but once upon a time I left it in New York before I left it in Tel Aviv before I brought it back to New York, took it to London, brought it back, took it to Tel Aviv again and maybe - just maybe - even left a tiny piece in Jerusalem. Are you sufficiently confused yet? Good. Welcome to my life.

I miss simpler times spent crying over boys and drinking to oblivion while chain smoking till the wee hours. I miss holding hands on the beach. I miss hugs. Lots of hugs. Because everyone seems to be so far away these days and why can't I be far away too? I need sunshine and water like beautiful flowers need to grow. I need kisses and beauty and art and sunshine. Lots of sunshine. And sand between my toes. Basically I need you. All of you.