Sunday, February 15, 2009

MTA Haiku

Every weekend
Construction, it never fails
Why, MTA, why?

Monday, February 9, 2009

My dreams are getting strange!

Seriously. I dreamt many many things including a play called the Gospel Plays where one scene included a parody of the Obamas! Another included my friend and I trying to run for a bus we never caught. Then it morphed into me spending Shabbat dinner with my engaged ex's mom and younger brother who, normally devout and sincere in his Judaism, was texting! Then I was suddenly seated on a windowsill in a NYC apartment next to said ex's fiance talking about how she was a convert. That segueyed to me walking down NYC streets with ex's mom who was so upset because her son was marrying a convert and not me. WEIRD. Can't I just dream that I can fly?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

My dreams just keep getting more interesting

So a few weeks ago I had a dream about a religious friend of mine from college. I haven't seen him in real life since his wedding almost 2 years ago. In my dream we were just hanging out, shooting the sh-t. He was even wearing a black hat to match his white shirt and black pants. In my dream he told me that his wife was pregnant with twins and from her first pregnancy she also delivered twins.

I tend to be right about dreams like this. I also tend to never see my friend on-line, so of course I practically attacked him when I saw his name pop up on my computer screen. I told him all about my dream and while he said he "couldn't say about twins..." his wife is expecting around Pesach (b'shaah tova)! Yeah, I know. I'm kinda like a modern day prophetess, so watch out if I have any dreams about YOU.

A couple of weeks later I had a dream about an ex boyfriend. The only details I can remember is that we were sitting on the subway together and he had a clear box of small pastries - one definitely looked like the napoleans I used to bring on Shabbat for his parents. My clear box had six small cupcakes with frosting and different colored sprinkles on top. We ate our baked goods and chatted like old times, like we haven't done in probably 5 years. And when I woke up...I felt...so good! So content because it was really nice catching up with him. Weird, right? But it felt so real.

A week or two later I had a dream about another, most recent, ex. Unfortunately it has slipped my memory because last night I had another dream about him. I was also left feeling content like the way you feel when you've caught up with an old friend. Last night's dream was a bit different. Something about his laptop - it was having some issues (much like mine is having in real life), and we were going to the supermarket because we were cooking but I think we had some issues trying to find some kosher items. Still, it was really nice to see you :)

In other news, technology is just not on my side lately. I am having a lot of issues. My laptop keeps overheating and randomly shutting down so I need to send it out to be serviced, which means I'll be laptop-less for about a week once I ship it out. Last night my phone sorta broke and it won't recognize that the charger is plugged in and I currently have one bar of battery left. So that means it's a trip to Verizon today! Awesome.

I have a huge interview slated and I'm so excited about it I get butterflies when I think about it. It feels good to be excited for a job because I haven't felt like this since September.

I've been on a cooking trip lately. Yesterday I made malawach which became fatoot when I added an egg and cheese to it. And then of course I had to eat it with sour cream and schug, israeli salad and yogurt. That's not too fat kid is it? And then I got hungry late last night and decided to make a stir fry, adding honey and brown sugar to my teriyaki sauce. YUMMMMM. Tonight I shall attempt goat cheese empanadas. Maybe I should go to the gym to burn off come calories in advance...

I do have more to write about. Much more, in fact. But I've gotta get on with my day. Mucho mucho love-o xx

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I Lego NY

http://niemann.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/02/02/i-lego-ny/

Apparently I'm a white person

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2009/01/11/120-taking-a-year-off/

#120 Taking a Year Off
January 11, 2009 by clander

When someone goes through a stressful experience they usually require some time off to clear their head, regain focus, and recover from the pain and suffering. Of course, in white culture these experiences are most often defined as finishing high school, making it through three years of college, or working for eleven months straight with only two weeks vacation and every statutory holiday ("they don't count because I had to spend them with family.")


Though you might consider finishing school or having a good job to be "accomplishments" many white people view them as burdens. As such, they can only handle them for so long before they start talking about their need to "take a year off" to travel, volunteer, or work abroad.

It is most common for the person taking the year off to use this time to travel (see Post #19 for reasons why). Generally, they will start off with a set amount of money that will use to travel for as long as possible. This explains why a white person with an $800 backpack will haggle with a poverty-stricken street vendor about a $2 dollar plate of food.

If you work with this person, be sure to give them a FAKE email address on their last day on the job or you will be inundated with emails about spiritual enlightenment and how great the food is compared to similar restaurants back home. Also, within the first five days following departure, this person will come up with the idea to write a book about their travel experience. Sadly, more books about mid-twenties white people traveling have been written than have been read.

Some of the more enterprising white people will extend their time off by working abroad as a bartender, ski lift operator, or english teacher. Their stories, emails, and publishing plans will be identical to the previous white person but will include additional stories about working and complaints about "tourists."

Finally, there is the white person who takes a year off to volunteer at home or abroad. Though they are equally likely to write long emails about their experience, these people are often using the experience as an excellent resume pad for their application to law school. This way they are able to put off real life without the crippling derailment of a career or education.

Regardless of how a white person chooses to spend their year off, they all share the same goal of becoming more interesting to other people. Sadly, the people who find these stories interesting are other white people who are politely listening until they can tell their own, more interesting story about taking a year off.

Thankfully, there is an enormous opportunity for personal gain. You see, whenever a white person takes a year off it opens up a valuable apartment, job opportunity or admissions slot. Consider it to be the most pretentious form of affirmative action.