I asked him on the way back to New York from Montreal. For hours on end, both on the way there and back, we all filled the car with words of Torah. We questioned the reasoning of brachot and the right way to do them. We listened to a shiur about the World to Come. We spoke about the tzadikim who live in another world that we may never know. And we came to the conclusion that while we have free will to make our own choices and steer the course to our destinies, ultimately it is Hashem's will that brings us to where we're supposed to be.
And so when I asked for his opinion and recommendation for one thing that I can do to bring myself closer, I wasn't expecting the answer he gave me. I thought he was going to recommend another blessing to make when I eat, or say my prayers in the morning every day. But instead he said, "Well, I was thinking about this before, and I don't mean to preach or judge, especially because I had one myself, but I think you should take out your tongue ring." Uh-huh. "Well if you think about it, it's a metal bar in your tongue, so there's a kashrut issue." Ah-ha. I hadn't thought about that before. To which I asked incredulously, "So I've been eating traif this whole time???" I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I still don't. Because you don't think that a tongue ring is like a metal utensil that can absorb which is why you need one set for dairy and one set for meat. So do I now need to have one tongue ring for sipping coffee and one for eating a burger? What if I use glass? All these questions seem ridiculous to me and probably do to you as well. But still, once someone points out something you didn't know before, it's hard to forget. So I'm left to step back and see what my options are. Maybe I should just take on some more tefilot. In the mean while, all suggestions are welcome.
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9 comments:
Apparently in Israel Hashem allows tongue rings :)
Hi,
Came across your post. I used to have a tongue ring and I asked my rabbi (Orthodox) his opinion. He said that it was no problem from the angle of kashrut because it is permanently in your mouth. Like braces. When it has a status of permanence, it is no longer the same level as other substances.
He did say it was a modesty issue, since there are cultural associations with tongue rings.
So... there you go. And by the way, I kept it in for 3.5 years. Loved that thing.
Eliesheva, you saved the day. Thanks for your Rabbi's opinion. I never thought of it that way.
If there's anything I know, it's how to maintain my religiousness along with my... personality.
Calev, apparently in Israel Hashem allows tongue rings to be given erev Purim. What do you think about Beitar fans booing Rabin? (Also courtesy of Eliesheva.)
i think we should all be Hapoel Fans...
I sort of find it interesting how someone can have a tongue ring and then be concerned with issues of kashrut and what the good Lord might say about it. Fine, so maybe we've learned that it isn't a kosher issue, but even then, it's still a modesty issue, ins't it? As Eliesheva says, tongue rings create societal implications. And while I understand the desire to maintain your "personality," at some point, personality clashes with religiosity. Then we come to the point of picking and choosing what we want to adhere to, which is fine also, so long as we recognize that we're doing it. So you'll be kosher, but you'll wear a tongue ring. You'll observe shabbat but you'll also wear tight and revealing clothing. Now I don't know if there are any explicit commandments about modesty, but religion is also about the "spirit" of things, even if they don't exist in black-letter law. That said, I guess I'm just thinking that you have to make clear choices in one direction or the other. Keep the tongue ring because you want to keep it, not because you've discovered that it might, after all, be kosher.
All good points, but when I look at what to practice, I see what's written in the Torah before the Rabbis got to it. And, well, while as a Jew it's my responsibility to "look" a certain part and act properly, kashrut and shabbat are written in the Torah and are my main concerns. I do trust the Rabbis of our past who made modesty an issue, but I believe in the Chabad way - a little bit at a time. And I think that I can respect and be aware of the importance of modesty, but practice it in the words that come out of mouth as opposed to what's in my mouth. And of course follow the Torah by making sure it's kosher food I put in my mouth.
I think Ruvym made the ultimate point, and since I started living my life that way, I've felt a lot better about my religious standing and integrity.
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