8/14/12

Dear Self,
Remember everything.
Remember everything like each day is your last
Or first
Remember places
Etch the images of venues from your past in your brain
They may not be here when you come back
To this city that is forever changing
It will never be the same
And neither will you
But for now all you can do is remember
For the next 2 weeks, as long as you're here
Remember
It's the only way to be in the moment
It's the only way to conquer denial
Remember
Because you don't actually want to leave
Write as many poems for Brooklyn until your fingers bleed verse
Or until you feel release
Sweet, sweet release
And then comes peace
And the ease will creep in

But before that, buy every cliched Brooklyn poster
Every rap name diagram
Every t-shirt you see that says I <3 NY
Every mug that will bring comfort on hot middle eastern mornings
Or in the winter season
When you are safe from snow storms
Just remember to pack your wellies
Kiss plows goodbye
Write a sonnet for the F train
A haiku for Gowanus
Spill a drink for my bicycle
I never thought love like this was possible

I'm making myself feel feelings
I stay sober most of the time
Call it preparation for longing
It will come when most and least expected
On the plane I'll sob
I'll want to turn back
But turning back would be like living life in reverse
And I want to move forward again

Thirty can feel like the end of life
But for now I see it as rebirth
This decade is the one that screams change
What better place to turn to than the city that makes me feel alive
Sometimes
Not last time
I don't mind
Tel Aviv, we'll drink like old lovers
Stumble home together after last call
The taste of whiskey and cigarettes on our breath
We'll toast to old times
And cheers to new beginnings