Broken

There are some people whose Zionism is stronger than my will. They will persevere even when doors are slammed in their faces.

Today I was told I have nothing. I took on the Israeli persona because that was the only way to get through to him. It took this "shaliach" over a month to tell me definitively what I'd been fearfully expecting. After I spoke sternly, demanded details, called him out on not doing his job, I felt...exhausted. Like I had sobbed for an hour. That release only mournful tears can bring.

Today I feel broken. Tomorrow I will put the pieces together. I am not the first to suffer this struggle and I will not be the last. If I have nothing, then I don't need to prove myself anymore. Israeli or not, I just am.