I can't believe that I actually thought this trip to NY would be fun. Correction, I can't believe I actually thought that doing the right thing and spending a lot of time with my parents would be fun. Instead it has left me convinced that if I do not get away soon I will go insane. Therefore I think it is time to look for a summer sublet in the city. Do the UWS "scene" for a bit. Have the freedom that Israel granted me. Be able to drink my wine and relax. I know I wanted to take the opportunity while in NY to save money and be responsible, but my peace of mind is worth more than rent money.
A friend's insight:
Mobius1: can i make an unsolicited observation
4:05 AM me: ok
4:06 AM Mobius1: you seem confused
like you're never sure where you want to be
and you seem like you spend all your energy darting back and forth trying to figure it out
me: you are correct mobius1
4:07 AM Mobius1: if you never take a risk and choose, you'll never get on with your life
In all honesty, I wish I was gutsy enough to just say f it and book a one way ticket and sign a year lease in the land that is holy. I hope that in another few weeks I'll achieve that goal.