I want

Bookcases
Painted walls
The feeling I get when I see you holding a baby

Sandwich and waffle makers
Homemade pancakes on Sundays
Coffee in bed

Black & white and color photo montages mounted on my walls
Order to differentiate from the chaos
Candles to be lit
Wax drip overflowing

I want you
To remember what it felt like to be in love
To run into the ocean
Crash into the waves harder than they crash into you
To laugh loudly and so hard your belly hurts

I want someone to dance with in the kitchen
and sing with in the shower
To want to hold my hair when I'm sick
but allow me to push away

I want you
To remind me why this started in the first place
Help me actualize every dream I ever had
Bring childhood hope and adolescent passion into an adult awakening

Today I can't stop thinking about you. I miss you so much my heart hurts. I can feel the ache in the hole in place of where you once stood. I don't know if we will ever understand the kind of love we had, or resolve it or be able to put it on a shelf only to return to it later. This may be the end of our saga.

I know nothing except that I have been left out in the darkness. Sometimes I sit here, waiting for you to turn the light on and let me in.

I see your name everywhere. I still think it's beautiful.

Today I put your earrings on and try to remember a piece of you. I still hope you are well.

Let your ears find love

http://www.myspace.com/melekyonin

It is December

It is December and all I can think about is hibernating all winter spent in front of a lit fireplace huddling together over cups of hot cocoa keeping warm, warming our love, listening to music, watching movies, cooking meals that will sustain us, holding hands, waking in bed together, tip-toeing to the kitchen on frozen floor boards to make coffee. It is December and I am remembering that we have never spent one together.

Butterflies

I don't know what this means
but I do know that feeling this way
is better than not

Purpose, timing and projects

Today my eyes opened around 7am. This is an incredible concept to me for a couple of reasons: 1. because lately my body just craves a lot of sleep, 2. I fell asleep around 2am after watching an episode of Coupling and Gavin & Stacey on BBCA, and 3. because these days I tend to struggle to find a reason to get out of bed before 10am.

But today was a little different. I have a lunch date and even though it doesn't occur until 2, well, I guess I wanted to be prepared. Put my best foot forward. So as I tip-toed out of bed after I came to terms with the fact that I was awake before 1pm, I realized I had a sick, sleeping roommate on the couch and had to tip-toe even more. Just my luck that when I want to make a cup of coffee at 7:15am I need to be mindful of the noise that washing my favorite coffee mug and putting on the kettle bring.

In other news, I have decided to take on a little project of mine. I have decided that I need to write more poetry no matter how big or small. So for every day of this month, I am attempting to actually set aside the time to write a new poem. For the 7 of you who are actually reading this, I'd like to ask a little favor. If you think of a topic - even if it's about eating avocados on Wednesdays - let me know via the various methods of contact. I'm open!