Tuesday, February 27, 2007

A change is gonna come

Or maybe it already has. I think it happened at the exact moment when I watched the sun set from Har Ben Tal. Or maybe it was even before that, on the way to Jerusalem from Tel Aviv on the sheirut when for the first time in my life I thought, "I can see myself living here for 5 years." And yes I know that 5 years is not the same as a life-long commitment but, for me, any commitment is a big deal.

Maybe it started when I began to revisit the jazzmen. When I was given a breath of fresh air. When I decided that I needed more poetry in my life. Maybe culture is a catalyst for change in my life, change in the world. All I know is that I haven't felt this free in months. I feel more like myself than in recent months. I feel like this cycle is about to move on the the next phase; go from unbearable angst, depression, melancholy and sickness to a refreshing revival where I feel like I've finally "got it." Like I feel completely connected and one with the world around me. And to aid it to continue, I think I am going to resign myself to more hip-hop, more James Brown, more Amy Wine-(Whore)-house, more poetry, more wine, more fresh air, more green, more sunshine, more walks in Tel Aviv at night, more things that make me happy. A bigger change is gonna come. I'm ready.

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